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Failed!

I feel fed up. I failed my driving test again yesterday. I was in such a blind panic I just couldn’t concentrate. Kathryn got back from work at about 12:20 and my driving test wasn’t until 14:00. Somehow at 13:30 we were driving back to our house to pick up the paper bit of my driving licence and the other documentation I’d forgotten. At 13:40 I was attempting to find a garage to put some fuel in my car! At 13:50 I was still looking for the test centre in Heysham, despite having been there once before. By the time I actually made it to my test was in a complete unprepaired flap! It was a complete miracle that I made it there at all. I wasn’t really suprised that I failed.

It’s just frustrating ’cause I know that I often drive at test standard for a couple of hours at a time. When it comes to actually doing it in test conditions I fall to pieces. Who would have thought it! Damon suffering from “performance shyness”!

I’ve just spoken to my dear friend Cassie and she told me that she shouldn’t have passed but her examiner passed her anyway. Seemingly due to her inability to distinguish left from right! This has cheered me up a little.

I will work on making sure that I am suitably prepared next time and if there is any justice it will be third time lucky!

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Two Saudis and a Yemeni were “committed” and had killed themselves in “an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us”.

The idea that someone is so desperately unhappy that they successfully commit suicide whilst imprisoned is an unpleasent one and raises questions about the of acceptability of imprisonment as a form of punishment. When you consider that those held in Guantanamo have not yet being convicted of a crime, being given a fair and open trial or had access to independent judges or lawyers, it angers me that the anyone could attempt to suggest that this is “act of war”!

Two Saudis and a Yemeni were “committed” and had killed themselves in “an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us”. They committed suicide for christ’s sake!?!? How on earth can that be construed as an act of warfare? You think I’m quoting out of context maybe?

Rear Adm Harris said he did not believe the men had killed themselves out of despair. “They are smart. They are creative, they are committed,” he said. “They have no regard for life, either ours or their own. I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetrical warface waged against us.”

BBC News Article: Guantanamo suicides ‘acts of war’

I mean does the American military that be really believe that or alternatively do they believe I’m stupid enough to believe them when they say it? I’m not sure which is worse. Continue reading “Two Saudis and a Yemeni were “committed” and had killed themselves in “an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us”.”

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Banana Boat Song / Day De Light / Day O

I became interested late last night in the song of the title of this post. My interest leads out of previous conversations with Snowball with regard to sea shanties, and an overhearing of the explaination of what a “tallyman” is by the muppets!

The Banana Boat Song is a Jamaican Calypso folk song. The most commonly known version is the Harry Belafonte one. Traditionally it was sung by Jamaican banana workers loading bananas. Daylight has come, the shift is over and they want their work to be counted up so that they can go home (this is the meaning of the lyric “Come, Mr. Tally Man, tally me banana/ Daylight come and we wanna go home.”)

It is also perhaps worth noting that the song was used in the involuntary dancing at dinner scene in Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice.

Continue reading “Banana Boat Song / Day De Light / Day O”

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Building a Ship

If you want to build a ship,
don’t drum up people together to collect wood
and don’t assign them tasks and work,
but rather teach them to long for
the endless immensity of the sea.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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3rd Hangover in 3 Years

I have a headache, I’ve only had a few hours sleep, I’m dehydrated, and a little fed up. Why did I go and do that again? I’ve gotten drunk 3 times in 3 years. I suspect that was my last time. It’s not big and it’s not clever. I’m not entirely sure I like who I am when I drink. There are small elements I prefer, I have insane levels of confidence, I feel brash, etc. but there are much larger downsides. I am a bit of a plonker, worse I’m not very nice to people. I hereby resolve not to drink alcohol again at least for 12 months.

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Mobile Phone Leaking Radiation – (Eye Bubble Part 3)

More Background to the events that culminated in my trip to A&E last Saturday. If you have already read Part 2 (including The Report on lens damage) you’ll be able to see why when I started getting headaches whenever I used my mobile phone I became worried.

I was starting to think maybe I had dropped my mobile phone and damaged it, somehow causing it to give off more radiation than I could cope with. It seemed unbelievable but I could think of no other explanation.

Each time I took a phone call on my phone my eye would indeed water. I could almost feel it bubbling in the heat that my phone was giving off. At first I told myself it was just psychosomatic. Which clearly made my pain and discomfort all Snowball’s fault for putting the idea in my head.

However the more time passed and the worse my symptoms got the more I started to consider the worst. A whole phantasmagoria of possible ailments and horrific health conditions swam through my head as increasingly distinct possibilities. All I can say to you is: “Never ever Google your symptoms if you are feeling unwell!”

I believe it started on Thursday and by this point (Saturday morning) I had:

  • a persistent minor headache all the time specifically focused on the left of my head;
  • a severe headache (lasting about two hours) following any use of my phone (even just a 20-30 second call);
  • my left ear ached, and my inner ear hole was very sore and tender to the touch;
  • my left eye was becoming increasingly bloodshot and sore;

By three o’clock things had gotten much worse. Continued in Part 4.

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Losing My Hand! – Auto-amputee -ism (Eye Bubble Part 1)

Since I was a small boy I have occasionally maintained that at some point in the future I am going to lose my right hand and my right eye. Whilst drunk at University and in melancholy moods I would contemplate cutting my hand off so that I was somehow in control of the action I felt convinced must surely occur sooner or later. Sometimes my contemplation would include a knife, and yet somehow I’m sat here typing this two handedly.

I have recently become distressed by the notion that I may have got the wrong side. When asked whether a certain freckle or a scratch which adorns my face is on the left or the right I become confused. This is surely because my familiarity with my own image is wholly dependent upon mirrors which reflect my mirror image rather than my true likeness.

Can you imagine my future distress if I’d lopped off the right only to have an accident which causes me the loss of my left!

For the benefit of readers of a sensitive disposition, I’m going to resist my rather gruesome urge to describe previous contemplations I’ve had relating to the removing my right eyeball.

Anyhow enough of my curious childhood auto-amputee -ism. I’m just trying to give you some background to events that culminated in my trip to A&E last Saturday. Read Part 2 for more details.